I love Halloween. It’s all about having fun, dressing up, and kids getting to run around like kids. It’s also fun because it’s scary. One of the things I like to do in October is watch my favorite Halloween movies. Some of these are kid-safe, but of course, that depends on the ages of your kids. I’m sort of liberal when it comes to movies, except for the ones that show a lot of sex. For example, with a name like Monster’s Ball, you would think it’d be a movie about a Halloween dance or something, not Billy Bob’s monster. Now if you really want to scare the crap out of a kid, let him watch that movie. Who cares about a ghost when Billy Bob Thornton is naked in your living room wanting to eat chocolate ice cream (and I’m not talking about Halle Barry) out of a plastic spoon? That’s the worst thing to come out of a tv since Samara Morgan in The Ring. It scares me just to think about it!
The Ring did not make the Top 11 list. I love Naomi Watts and the girl crawling out of the tv is really scary, but several horses met their end because of Samara. You can kill people in a movie, but not a horse (or a dog). Sorry.
Here are my Top 11 Halloween Movies (remember, it’s my favorite number).
7. The Witches – watching Anjelica Huston transform to a witch still freaks me out.
6.The Village – I love this movie for the scene where Joaquin Phoenix sits on the porch to protect Bryce Dallas Howard. Now that is love. There are also strange looking porcupine-looking creatures that I would hate to run into on a camping trip (one of many reasons I don’t go camping, oh and sharing a bathroom with woodland animals). Also, any movie with Sigourney Weaver basically kicks ass. That woman is fierce.
5. Ghost Busters – Sigourney Weaver, Bill Murray and NYC equals a fun flick. I still laugh when they are in the library and Dan Aykroyd asks, “Listen, do you smell something?”
4. What Lies Beneath – Michelle Pfeiffer and a beautiful lake house. I love this movie because it’s so clean. Your cheating-ass husband kills his college-age mistress and she comes back to get him as a ghost. What’s not to love? A warm and fuzzy movie for anyone going through a divorce.
3. The Sixth Sense – how long did it take you to realize that Bruce Willis was a dead? Like, the whole freaking movie! The are two great child actors in this – Haley Joel Osment and Mischa Barton. Strangely enough, neither one has had a great career in Hollywood. Maybe they need to learn how to work their other 5 senses before they worry about a 6th. Or, fire their agent and hire Ari Gold.
2. Insidious – actually, I hated this movie because it really scared me. For real! And, I hate it when movies don’t have happy endings. We have enough of that in real life. I want my happy ending, you Fools!
1. The Nightmare Before Christmas – Tim Burton is to Halloween what Dickens is to Christmas. A love story between two dead puppets and their ghostly wiener dog named Zero. A great story with an important theme. You have to see it to appreciate it.